Why is it always my fault when we argue? Having a relationship with a person who can be extremely difficult can be a difficult experience. When a person is hurt or upset, it can be hard to stay calm and not react.
Why Is It Always My Fault When We Argue?
If you are constantly saying things like “why is it always my fault when we argue?” you aren’t doing yourself any favors. Here are some tips to help you stay calm.
Hyper-sensitivity
Keeping in mind that I’m a nerd, I have to admit I’ve had my fair share of heated debates with people in the dark. Probably because I’m one of those people that thinks outside the box. Thankfully, I’ve tamped the majority of them out with the aid of a good book and a few spritely friends. I’ve also learned to take my hat off to the almighty Google.
Regardless of my plight I still consider myself an optimist and I’m a firm believer in the old adage “It’s never too late to make amends.” Hopefully this article is the harbinger of a less harried, less harried year. The biggest obstacle is to weed out the dreaded “it’s no big deal” from the “I’m not a person” and “you can’t do that” mindsets.
Narcissism
Whether you are arguing with a narcissist or another person, you may feel the temptation to say “Narcissism is always my fault when we argue”. While you may think this is a healthy strategy, it can actually create problems.
Also read: “How to Protect Your Marriage When Texting Opposite Gender When Married.”
Narcissists are known for their use of emotional manipulation tactics, which can impair rational thinking. These tactics include gaslighting and stonewalling. These strategies can also create a sense of shame and uncertainty about reality.
Gaslighting is a deflection technique, which means the narcissist denies the other person’s reality. This can include things like “that never happened,” or “stop making such a big deal out of this.”
Stonewalling is another tactic used by narcissists. It is used to prevent the debate from advancing to the point where it is productive.
Stonewalling
Using the term “stonewalling” in a relationship can be a sign that you are struggling with emotional intimacy. It can also be a symptom of dysregulation.
Stonewalling is a tactic used by people who feel threatened, confused, or overwhelmed. It is a strategy that can make your relationship worse.
Stonewalling is an attempt to avoid an uncomfortable conversation. It may also be a way for a person to self soothe.
A therapist can help you to understand why you are stonewalling and help you to develop a better communication strategy. The most important thing to remember is that it is not your fault.
Stonewalling can be a sign of dysregulation or an evolutionary adaptation. This could be a result of upbringing. If you were raised in a non-speaking environment, you may not have developed the skill to effectively communicate your feelings.